“I Forgot Who I Was…”
The moment a diagnosis starts to define you.
There is a subtle and slippery moment when it happens. Perhaps you’re sitting in a cold waiting room or responding to a well-meaning message from a friend—when you stop saying “I’m [Your Name]” and begin with, “I have cancer.” Or lupus. Or MS. Or fill in the blank.
Your diagnosis is not false. It is. It is huge. Life-changing. A deluge of appointments, pills, procedures, and emotions. However, somewhere in the midst of test results and treatment plans, it may feel as if the person you once were has been eaten up. People start labeling you “brave” when all you feel is exhaustion. Your hobbies accumulate dust. Your sense of humor dims. And then you’re no longer yourself; you’re a patient, a case, a diagnosis.
But here’s the thing: you are still in there. You are still completely human underneath the scans and scars, the new vocabulary of illness. This post is about to reclaim your identity and life. Because you are not your diagnosis, and you are undoubtedly much more than a medical chart.
1. Why It Happens: The Identity Crisis During A Chronic Illness
The identity trap of being “the sick one.”
Living in a Medical World
Your environment changes to medical mode the moment you are diagnosed. Weekly check-ins, clinical charts, and people treating your body like a case study. It becomes exhausting—and worse, the norm.
How Labels Stick
Well-meaning individuals want to help you, but they frequently use labels to accomplish so. “Cancer warrior.” “Survivor.” “Inspiration.” While those words can be inspiring for some, they can also feel confining. Especially on days when you don’t feel strong or want to talk about anything else.
Losing Touch With Your Own Story
When everyone sees you through the lens of your diagnosis, it’s easy to forget who you were before. It is not your fault. But it is something you can start to reclaim.
2. You Are Not Your Diagnosis: You Are Still You
What illness can’t take away.
Identity Isn’t Erased—It’s Covered
Your diagnosis may alter you, but it cannot eradicate you. You’re still the person who enjoys silly romance comedies, drinks coffee with two sugars, and sings loudly in the car. Illness hides but does not eliminate things.
Your Core Self Is Still Intact
Underneath it all, you retain your sense of humour, morals, and quirks. That subtle fire that makes you who you are? It is still burning. Let’s start by sweeping away some of the mental trash so it can shine again.
3. Rediscovering Passions and Purpose
Small steps back to yourself.
Start with What You Miss
Think of something you used to enjoy. Reading fantasy novels? Sketching in the morning? Are you tending to your garden? Don’t force yourself to go full speed—just crack the door open.
Perhaps you:
- Watch one of your favorite movies from the past.
- Open your dusty art journal, even if you only doodle.
- Recall a favorite memory and consider, “How can I recreate that feeling?”
Create a “Passion Bucket List”
It doesn’t have to be grand. Perhaps it is:
- Re-learn the guitar.
- Bake with your children.
- Walking to the park alone with your thoughts.
Make a list of five small things that make you feel like yourself. Then, choose one to try this week.
4. Reclaiming Your Voice
Establish the narrative. Don’t let the diagnosis dictate your future.
Choose Your Labels—Or None at All
You don’t have to explain yourself to everybody, and you’re not required to wear every title that comes your way. You get to say:
- “I’m more than this diagnosis.”
- “I’d rather talk about my photography today.”
- “Actually, I’m feeling like me today, not a patient.”
Reintroduce Yourself
Here’s an effective little exercise: Practice introducing yourself without bringing up your health condition at all. Who are you now?
“Hi, my name is Sam. I’m obsessed with podcasts, re-learning Spanish, and have lately returned to painting.”
Let it be the headline of your life, not your medical history.
5. Letting Yourself Evolve
Redefining “you” does not imply regress; rather, it implies progress.
Some Changes Are Permanent—and That’s Okay
After an illness, you may feel as if you have changed. Honestly, you probably have. Perhaps you are more fatigued or reflective. Perhaps your body looks and feels different. That doesn’t imply you’ve lost yourself; it simply means you’ve added chapters to your story.
Grace for the Journey
Give yourself permission to move forward rather than bounce back. Reclaiming your identity does not imply returning to your former self. It’s about discovering who you are right now with all of life’s wisdom, grit, and softness.
6. Real Stories of Rediscovery and Mindset Shift
You’re Not Alone in This
“After chemotherapy, I felt like a stranger in my own body. But one day, I took out my old camera and began shooting again. That was the moment when I felt like myself—not the ‘survivor,’ but the artist.” – Maya, 37
“I used to dance. After my surgery, I thought that part of myself had vanished. But I turned up the music in my kitchen and simply moved. For five minutes, I forgot everything except the beat. That was mine.” – Carlos, 52.
Let these stories act as a reminder that identity is not something you can lose. It is something you rediscover.
You Are Not Your Diagnosis — You’re a Whole, Living, Breathing Story
And You’re Still Writing It.
This chapter in your life may have begun with a diagnosis, but it does not need to finish there. You are more than your lab results, your medication routine, and the “brave face” that others want you to wear.
You’re still the person with dreams, stories, belly laughs, and inquisitive thoughts. You can still have joy, creativity, connection, and purpose. And, while healing may not entail returning to your original self, it does entail taking steps toward who you want to be.
So, today, take a simple step. Do one thing that makes you feel like yourself. Even if it’s only singing in the shower or saying, “Hey, I’m not just surviving—I’m living.”
You are not your diagnosis. You are you. This is more than enough.
Lastly, if you’re seeking a sincere guide to help you through this path, check out the hope and recovery book for cancer, “Living Brave” by Kaylee Landry. It’s like having a wise, caring companion walk by you, providing strength, tools, and hope when you need it the most.